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Sunday, September 16, 2012

Where I Left Off

So, last time I posted  (which was the first time I posted) I was just back from a life changing trip to the stunning Hawaiian islands, Maui and Oahu to be precise. The photo on that first post was taken by me on Oahu's N. Shore and it showed a majestic scene beyond a wide expanse of roadway...a path to the great unknown...well, metaphorically speaking, I did just say it was the N. Shore of HI.  This is where I am today.  A few steps ahead but still with the wide expanse in front of me.  And I am liking it!

For those of you who don't know me I have spent just under half of my life as a hairstylist. WOW!  That is crazy when I put it like that!!  I have LOVED what I chose to do in the beauty industry, loved it for many years...grew from a stylist working for salon owners, to being an independent contractor to currently owning my own salon!  I have put my heart and soul into the business and it had been good to me. I love to make people feel and look great !!

Lately, I have felt burnt out.  For a few yrs  now to be honest. The kind of burn out that puts you on the couch after a long day, watching shows like Intervention and Housewives of Somewhereville...just to numb out!  Not proud. But true.

 At the same time, I have been on a personal journey of growth and spiritual awakening. The idea of only attending to my clients on the surface (outer beauty)  has started to lack meaning for me.  I have been more interested lately in (inner beauty) the deep soul work I have been doing on myself over the years.

 I have always talked about writing a book about how stylists really are more like therapists than most folks realize. Unless you have experience with Hairapy you don't know what really goes on.  A few yrs ago I started researching and doing some writing on this topic and I am super excited to bring my ideas to life in the near future.  THAT is one part of this new path I am excited to share here on this blog and beyond.

The other is my long desire to rekindle my love affair with painting and art in general.  I went to art school a long time ago and have always considered myself and artist  (of course hairstyling is an art and it has saved me over the years) but it was not until my 8yr old son casually said to me one day "Mom you are not an artist, Dad is" (my husband paints as well, and has been steadily at it over the years) That I thought, 'Wow, my son really does not know who I am...I am too an artist and I need to prove it!' ....To myself.  Then, life, work, bills, friends  and the couch got in the way and I continued to be, shall we say.. miserable and whiney and blamey....mostly directed at my dear hubby.  Oh for shame.  I am over that stage. Finally. Love you hon.

Hawaii opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. Not because it was Hawaii. I did not go to any special seminars or classes. No special anything.  It could have been Hoboken N.J. The place did not matter. The space did.  And my readiness. A crazy, unimaginable set of circumstances landed me there, ( that's another post, another day) by myself for ..11 days, 11 glorious days to wander, wonder, and to be.  To find the me who went missing all those years before.  Before I became a wife, a mother, a business owner- just to name a few of my roles.

 I found her one lazy May afternoon in the town of Kailua at a cozy coffee shop off of a side street next to a diner where the locals eat yummy pancakes with cocoanut inspired syrups and spicy exotic sausage. I sat for hours sipping iced chai, sketching and painting with a set of traveler watercolor pencils. Totally and completely in the moment absorbed and content.  Happy.  Listening to my new most favorite music and most of all inspired beyond belief.  The kind of inspired that makes you want to go up to people and hug them, strangers and maybe even kiss them!! Jump out of your skin giddy!  It was clear to me finally!  No more excuses.  And for the first time in a very long time I knew what I had to do. My very life  force energy depended on it.  My art.  I did not have a plan.  But that would come. "Just do it", I heard this pop cultured phrase in a new way. "A painter paints" my husband would always say when I whined about the artists "block".  A writer writes.  Simple.. . not easy.  Necessary at this juncture- for sure.

  SO much to do.. My very first priority is making time for art and writing in my life.  That might have sounded selfish to me a few years ago.  I have a child and husband for gods sake...  wisdom has shown me clearly the lesson of filling the well.  For me my well needs to be filled with quiet creative time to myself, happily balanced with my other loves of family and friends.  But it has become clear to me I get off balance  AKA  miserable bitch, if i don't afford this time to myself. A lesson hard learned!!

I am inspired by so many many wonderful artists in my local community and beyond and am happy to be taking an online course as i write by an amazing woman artist I found soon after I returned to NC, Kelly Rae Roberts! A kindred spirit and a new group of amazing women in the "flying lessons" classes!  She is helping me with my plan!  Thanks Kelly!  Love, and creativity to you all for now.  Over and out. Palms together.
                                     
                       (My work below)

1 comment:

  1. I love this post, I am a fellow flyer. You really got me thinking about the how and why it is women, tend to put themselves last, even when doing so is bad for them. I think of the message the give you every time you fly: put your own mask on first, then help others. I've found over the years it is hard to take care of me first and like you the imbalance eventually comes out the same way. I often thought I should have been a hairstylist, but now at 30 something, it just seems like that time has past me by, and I've decided to chase my true dream of art. Thank you for sharing and I know that you will achieve your dreams, one step at a time, by just doing it :)

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